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Friday, September 19, 2008

[Shadeshi_Bondhu] New Office Policies

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your
salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag,
we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do
not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do
not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be
and therefore you do not need a raise.


Sick Days:


We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work .



Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are
called Saturdays & Sundays.


Bereavement Leave:


This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do
for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should
be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in
your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late
afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your
lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:


Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now
a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of
three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will
retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.
After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category.
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the
company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat
more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced
meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the
time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.



Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to
provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all
questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input
should be directed elsewhere.

The Management


Source:
m h
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SB: Home of the Bangladeshi Teens & Youths
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-> Official Website: http://www.ShadeshiBondhu.com
-> Group's short url: http://Group.ShadeshiBondhu.com

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SB: Friends' Family
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