"The more time you spend in this fantasy world [pornography] , the more difficult it becomes to make the transition to Reality"
- David Morgan ( a clinical consultant, psychologist)
Tips on How To Handle Pornography
Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases.
If you feel like you have a problem, don't make excuses for yourself. Modern thinking will tell you that morality is subjective so you can continue to do things(like watch porn) and be no worse for it. Remember if you admitted you had a problem with porn, don't rationalize your problem. Confront it.
Man will be questioned about his life since it is the greatest Divine gift. Those, however, waste their life browsing these porn sites and thus spoil the greatest Divine blessing given to them, namely life. Man is granted this life not to spend it in quest for lusts and desires of the flesh, but to utilize it for the life of eternity, the Hereafter. In that eternal life everything is blessed, no poverty is there, no sickness, no senility. That eternal life is only for those who lead this life in straightness, uprightness and conformity with the laws of Allah.
young people should bear in mind that death may overtake them all of a sudden. All people are like prisoners in a cell waiting for their execution. No one knows when, but they should prepare themselves for it. Almighty Allah says: "Every soul shall taste death." (Al `Imran: 185)"
The following working steps to fight porn addiction are for all, no matter their age:
Tip #1
Recognize that porn is especially more addictive Recognize that porn is especially more addictive than most bad habits because of the hormonal influences within you,
and therefore you will only break the habit if you truly want to and are willing to work at it.
Tip #2: -Admit that you can't give up
Admit that you are unable to get a grip on your consumption of pornography. It is uncontrollable
. Every time you turn on the internet, go to the video store, turn on the television, you cannot say NO to yourself. You cannot NOT surf porn sites, or stop watching. You are no longer in control of your life.
Tip #3: -Admit only Allah can get you out of this
You know, after trying using so many different ways to control your addiction and subsequently failing, that only Allah can help you out of this. You may have known it before, but you are convinced of it now without a shadow of a doubt.
Tip #4 : Your life and death are all in Allah's control.
Decide to put your complete trust in Allah, Who is in control of all aspects of your life and your death, and to bring this problem to Him and seek His help first and foremost.
Tip #5 : Make a specific repentance to Allah.
Admit to Allah and to yourself and to another trusted Muslim (if possible) exactly where you went wrong. Do not make a general request for repentance. Specifically list your mistakes and, in particular, your addiction to pornography.
Tip #6 : Be open and ready to receive Allah's help to change.
You know your sincere repentance must be followed by action. Be ready to do what is necessary to change, no matter how difficult or painful, even if it means not even watching television for the news or never surfing the Internet alone.
Ask Allah with sincerity, humility and regret to help you never repeat this action (looking at pornography) again and to help you avoid repeating sins committed in the past.
Tip #7: Make note of your source of porn
Make note of your source of porn! Is it the internet? A DVD collection? Put space between you and your source, for example: put your computer in a family room rather than in your bedroom. You can also block your frequently-visited sites by editing your hosts file, on a Windows system. Get rid of what you have! Scratch DVDs with a pen or paperclip before throwing them away. Tear up magazines. Delete the files and empty the trash.
Tip #8 : Avoid those involved in pornography
If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc. either help him/her change through gentle and sincere advice or abandon frequent contact with them.
Their addiction might affect you, so it's best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to yourself and your relationship with God.
Tip #9 : Take note of the situations
Recognize situations where it happens. When you're bored? Hurt? Angry? Alone? Tired?
Take note of the situations that tempt you the most and also put space between you and them. If it is certain music or video game, put it away for a while. You may need to steer clear of the pool with the lovely sunbathing ladies or young handsome men for a few weeks. You will probably be able go back to normal once you break your addiction
Tip #10 : Surf the Web or Watch T.V. When Others are Around
The living room or study room are better places to keep the computer since others are nearby and can see what you're looking at. The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you're alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night TV and surfing. Instead, check out the tube or the web when others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no one's watching.
It is a good idea not to have a TV or computer in the bedroom anyway.
Tip #11 : Do a self-analysis & Self-evaluation.
Do an honest, sincere, but often painful self-evaluation of your good points, bad points, and analyze your addiction, trying to understand how you reached this point.
Every night do an honest self-evaluation of your behavior and be ready to admit your mistakes and thank Allah for the good you did that day.
Tip #12 : Remember your Mom and sister
Disgusting right? Exactly.
No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way pornographic magazines and websites depict women. Remember your mom and your sister, and that may help you stop.
Tip #13 : Just get up and leave
If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet is or where you've been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do something to physically get out of the situation.
Tip #14 : Feeling overwhelmed? Remember Allah
In situations where you feel overwhelmed and can't get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah's help. You don't necessarily need any heavy duty, long prayers. Just say-
"La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (there is neither power nor strength except with God). It is short, simple and reminds you of Who is really in control and can help you out of this. Or if you cannot remember this, just move away saying Allah, Allah. Or bring any popular song about Allah to your lips.
Tip #15 : Satan is the Enemy: Seek refuge in God
Satan lured you into this mess. He is the big part of our tests in this life. Seeking refuge in Allah
( just saying- Aouju billa-hi minash Shayta-nir Rajeem), will help you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the material.
Tip #16 : If It Happens, Seek Forgiveness & Don't Insist on doing it
"[Good people are those who] when they have committed a shameful deed (fuhsha) or have harmed themselves, remember God and pray that their sins be forgiven-for who but God could forgive sins?-and do not knowingly persist in doing whatever wrong they may have done." (Quran 3:135).
Allah loves to see us asking for His forgiveness.
Tip #17: Connect With Your Salat
If you are not praying, start now. Salat actively discourages pornography and fornication (fuhsha). Here is what Allah says about it: " and be constant in prayer: for, behold, prayer restrains man from loathsome deeds and from all that runs counter to decency; and remembrance of God is indeed the greatest [good]. And God knows all that you do." (Quran 29:45)
If you are not satisfied with the
quality of your prostration in prayer, work on it. If Salat is not helping you, work on uplifting your salat
Tip #18 : Fasting helps
The Prophet Muhammad advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material. Peace and blessings of Allah be upon the Prophet.
Tip #19 : Surround yourself with the Quran
Make the Quran a part of your bedroom decor. Put paintings of your personal selection of these beautiful verses from God. Maybe commission a calligrapher to scribe your favorite verses in Arabic and English. you can Write Some verses Of The quran with pencil/pen and hang it up in front of your laptop/PC .
Tip #20: Life is full of tests
We human beings are weak people. We sometimes make mistakes. We are not perfect. When you fail, don't despair. You can get away from sin by defeating a Satanic suggestion the next time around.
Sometimes we don't mean to watch but end up doing it anyway. But as soon as a thought comes to your mind that you are doing wrong, stop right there. If you persist, that will be become a sin which you have chosen intentionally.Don't feel guilty if you did not plan to watch it. Sometimes the web and email technology force this filth on you. Just move away as fast as you can.
Tip #21: Use technology to help
There are many filters and spam stopping technologies which are available through different internet providers as well as for your email client. Use technology to close doors for pornography, a heinous crime against humanity.
Tip #22: Get Married
Yes. You heard me right. Get married. The real thing is better than the fakeness of pornography which destroys you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Talk to your parents. May be you Are personally against very young people marrying, but it is certainly better than them having sinful relationships with each other or with the fictional characters brought to them through the web, magazines and films. There is no shame in talking to your parents about it.
Marriage helps you overcome the destructive directions of a blessing of God called sex
Tip #23: Do Tauba, Repent and Return to Allah
He loves to see us come back. If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deeds to compensate for what you've done. He is All-Forgiving as long as you are sincere.
Tip #24 : Repent Again and Fine Yourself
If you lapse, repent again. God is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising that if you do it again, you will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.
The message is: don't give up on yourself. Keep trying. Struggle is life. Satan can get you down, but you can and will beat him with God's help if you are serious about changing.
Tip #25: Pray, Pray and Pray
Never underestimate the power of prayer. Dua is the essence of worship. You connect to Allah through prayers. Talk to Him. HE listens.
Only Allah can change anyone's heart and give them the will to change
. Pray for yourself. And for your friend or loved one regularly. Don't give up on them.
Tip #26: Fight Against Pornography
The Prophet Muhammad
(peace and blessings be upon him), advised: Whoever among you sees a Munkar (offensive or evil act), then he must change it with his hand; if he is incapable, then with his tongue; if he is incapable, then with his heart; and that is the weakest faith (Muslim Sharif hadith).
Don't just "move on" after Allah has blessed you to get out of this addiction. Help others you know with this problem through regular contact and sincere advice, respecting the etiquette of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. By the grace of Allah, helping others will help you maintain control over your addiction, and you will help another Muslim or another human being to get out of this destruction and misery.
You will be blessed in your struggle if you speak and fight against pornography. It is not one person's problem. It is a problem that is hurting many people.
May Allah bless us All.
Sources:
www.Islamonline.net
" Man is eyes, the rest is only flesh: But the true eyes are those that see the Friend (i.e Allah) ; .......Merge the whole of yourself in your eyes, Go towards the vision, go towards the vision, go towards the vision."
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