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Friday, January 11, 2008

[Shadeshi_Bondhu] How to Tell Someone NO!

 
                                       How to Tell Someone NO!
 
When you find yourself in a situation with someone, who is attempting to pressure you to do something that you do not want to do, just say No. Do not concern yourself about hurting their feelings, do not worry that they will not want to see you again. Worry only about your own feelings, and thoughts. Do not ever allow yourself to be 'talked' into doing anything that you do not want to do!!
 
             Steps
1) Make eye contact. It is important that anyone seeing the interaction understands and believes that you are serious. Take a deep breath. Do not smile! Make them take you seriously!
2) Shout NO! loudly and with conviction. That should surprise the perpetrator enough to stop the current situation and give you time to explain or put distance between you.
3) Maintain eye contact so they understand that you are serious and must deal with the situation.
4) Walk away immediately. Do not stick around to hear this person trying to convince you what he or she wanted to do was something you wanted also.
5) Say No, then GO. Unless the other person is instantly apologizing and assuring you he or she will not repeat the behavior, there is nothing left to say.
                   Tips
When you say No mean No. Make sure that your verbal signals are clear and precise. Never say "No" with a smile, or they will think you really are saying 'yes'.
 
Always follow though with your convictions. If you say no, then the answer is no, and must remain no until something changes.
 
In romantic situations if there is no response to your loud and emphatic NO, and you can't walk away, use the open palm of your hand to hit the offender in the nose with an upward motion; do not use a fist - an open hand is more effective. Regardless of what Hollywood would have you think, this will not kill him. It will give him a bloody (and possibly broken) nose.
 
Remember that even though men generally don't strike women, bad things have happened when a man feels you have "led him on" and then denied him something. He may feel humiliated and angry, and may become aggressive. Aggressive outbursts in these situations have occurred involving even extremely low-key and mellow men. If you have had to resort to physical force in order to stop a man from touching you when you have asked him to stop, it is a dangerous situation. It shows that he was already prepared to use force to get his way, and the pain may fuel his anger considerably.
 
While it is taught that a man does not strike a woman, in certain dangerous situations, a man might be the one who is being assaulted and attacked. In a situation such as this, the man might have to use any means available to protect himself when saying 'no' is not enough.
 
If you find you are engaged in a serious physical struggle and you fear that you will be injured seriously OR raped, as odd as it seems, there are some over-the-top things you can try, which certainly couldn't hurt: try acting crazy (shouting weird, nonsensical phrases, foaming at the mouth or drooling), throwing up if you can, peeing your pants, etc. It sounds bizarre, but if you can do something disgusting, it may shut down the physical struggle and give you time to escape. All's fair in situations like this.
 
                   Warnings
Saying 'NO', and then acting coy, or smiling, will only give someone the idea that you really do not want him or her to stop! Do not give mixed signals.
 
Remember the rhyme. Say NO then GO. Better not to fight or argue, just leave.
 
                                                   How to Say NO to Sex
 
With the increase of sex "commercialization", more and more people feel pressured every day to take part in sex—especially premarital sex. It may be against your religious beliefs. You may simply want to wait until you are married. Or, you simply are not ready to have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend just yet. Whatever the scenario may be, here are some tips to help you say no to sex.
 
                  Steps
Tell your significant other how you feel. Sex is certainly not an area to rush in to. Without taking proper precautions, the consequences can impact the rest of your life.
 
Don't give in to societal peer pressure. Don't fall under the impression that just because "everyone else is doing it", that you should do it too. Remember that many people are all "talk", and may brag about how much sex they may be getting, when the truth is only a fraction of what they are actually telling you. Their insincerity in the matter is not a worthwhile reason to change your beliefs altogether.
 
Don't give in to pressure from your significant other. If they say, "If you really loved me you would", you must recognize that they are most likely trying to manipulate you. Manipulation, particularly when it comes to sex, is not a sign of a healthy relationship, and you should reconsider your relationships standing. If your significant other truly cares about you, he or she will respect your wish not to rush into sex.
 
Defend your reasons for not wishing to have sex. Here are some reasons to defend your argument:
 
"I don't want to risk an STD." Sexually transmitted diseases are more common than meets the eye. While your chances of making contact with an individual with AIDS or HIV may be slimmer, realize that there are many other threats. Some of these include gonorrhea, syphilis, and genital herpes.
 
"I don't want to risk getting (you) pregnant." Even if you are practicing sex safe sex and utilizing proper contraception, pregnancy is still a very realistic outcome. It is a serious matter, especially when you are not ready for it. Having a child can impact your life tremendously by costing not only your money, but also your time. It also gives rise to many other contemporary moral issues, such as deciding whether to keep the baby, or to undergo an abortion.
 
"I want to wait until I'm married." Whether a personal preference or a religious requirement, there is nothing wrong with preserving the sanctity of sex by waiting until you are married.
 
"I want to respect my parents' wishes." Remember that pregnancy is a life-altering experience. It will not only affect you, but also your family.
                    Tips
When you are saying no, use a firm voice that shows you are serious.
 
If your significant other tries to break up with you, then let them. A true relationship isn't based on sex.
 
Don't have sex just because someone wants you to. It is as much your choice as it is theirs.
 
                 Warnings
If you don't think about the consequences of your actions, your life could be changed forever.
 
 
 
Source: www.wikihow.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


" Man is eyes, the rest is only flesh: But the true eyes are those that see the Friend (i.e Allah) ; .......Merge the whole of yourself in your eyes, Go towards the vision, go towards the vision, go towards the vision."


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[Shadeshi_Bondhu] Date!

Aajke kotho tarik????


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Re: [Shadeshi_Bondhu] Re: Happy Birthday SB!!

Ami 2008-er sobche dangerous person.
Karon almost 11din por SB ke happy birthday janachchi.
Happy birth day to SB.
 

"R@kiB" <rakib.exe@gmail.com> wrote:
purush je 2 prokar ...

2nd prokar naki batting eyelashes




On Jan 3, 2008 3:07 PM, Saif Farah <saifarah@yahoo.com> wrote:
Goto bocor zerokom oshantite katse...zeno 2008 e r serokom na hoy...tai dori fan e bedhe akkhorik orthei hang hoe geci...(GHrooak: ses nissas)!!!

~*aNiKa*~ <martamforever@yahoo.com> wrote:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to SB :D

ajke 1 tarikh amader. uthsi dupur 12 tae :P bhaloi new year shuru
hoilo..ghumae ghumae!

onnoder ki obostha? hangover katse? :P

~*Anika*~

--- In Shadeshi_Bondhu@yahoogroups.com, "Riday" <pramiti.riday@...>
wrote:
>
>
> Today is 1 January.. another birthday of SB.. Itz now been 4 years
of
> SB. All these years SB has created friendship among good number of
> Bangladeshi ppl from all over the world. We wanna thank all SB
friends
> for being with us for years.
>
> Congratz to all SBians.. n Happy Birthday to SB!!! [:x]
>
> Happy New Year 2008 to all..
>
>
>
> ADMIN,
> ShadeshiBondhu.com <http://www.shadeshibondhu.com/>
>



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--
`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·` *R@kiB


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[Shadeshi_Bondhu] How to improve yourself and become confident

Although I found this on a men site but it is very very helpful for everyone....
 
Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong self esteem in today's tough environment can be difficult but is not impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6 tips you can use as a starter guide to self improvement.
 
Everything and everyone else around you can affect your self esteem. Other people can deliberately or inadvertently damage your self image. Unchecked people and circumstances can ultimately destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won't even notice. Don't let these influences get the best of you. But what should you avoid?
 
1 : A Negative Work Environment
Beware of a "dog eat dog" environment where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and working extra is expected and not rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the time you will work too hard with no help from others around you. This type of atmosphere will ruin your self esteem. This is not just healthy competition, at its worst it is brutal and very damaging.
 
 
More Self improvement articles:
 
 


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[Shadeshi_Bondhu] Do It Anyway



The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith


People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.


If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.



If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.



The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.



Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.



The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down
by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.



People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.



What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.



People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.



Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.



Anyway- Martina McBride (pls click to play)




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[Shadeshi_Bondhu] Why? Engineers and Policy makers should immediately look into this

Why? Engineers and Policy makers should immediately look into this
We have to distinguish those who ask a patient to start running a 100 metre sprint from those who motivate a patient to start jogging to prepare for a 100 metre sprint
 
There could be many explanations behind this - what is described in the following news item shown below at the end of the message. It is reporting that REB is planning to ban the use of any irrigation pump which are not at least 3 hoursepower capacity. But many farmers own pumps which are 1 to 1.5 HP capacity.
 
Isn't this news item weird? What could be the justification of REB of doing this?
 
While its good the reporter is reporting this incidence early on, which could be an act of policy-sabotage, at an important time when government and farmers of Bangladesh is preparing to work hard to get a good crop in the upcoming boro season. We hope that all concerned would seriously look into this.
 
We also urge our journalist community to go deeper into the news, dont just be a describer or reporter, but also try to go behind and find out the facts. That way you will do an even better service to the nation.
 
If you thought some of the ideas are worth of your reading time, please forward it to others. If you have an ear to the columinsts in regular traditional media, please forward it to them. If you have an ear to the journalists and news editors of the electronic media, discuss it with them. Hope they would look at the suggestions and give due diligence. 
 
Also, if you thought the article was important enough so it should come under attention of the head of the government or the head of anti-corruption commission, please forward the message to them.
 
Email address for the Chief Advisor: feeedback@pmo.gov.bd (please let us know if you think its not correct address)
Email address for the ACC Chief: complain@ekhoni-shomoy.net (please let us know if you think its not correct address)
 
Thanks for your time,
Innovation Line
 
==================================================================================================
Note: This is a freelance column, published mainly in different internet based forums. This column is open for contribution by the members of new generation, sometimes referred to as Gen 71. If you identify yourself as someone from that age-group and want to contribute to this column, please feel free to contact. Thanks to the group moderator for publishing the article.
===================================================================================================
 
 
 
 
Small farmers upset by Nilphamari REB decision
Pumps with less than 3 HP motors won't get power
Our Correspondent, Nilphamari

Hundreds of small farmers in the district are upset as Nilphamari Polli Bidyut Samity under Rural Electrification Board (REB) has made it mandatory to install at least 3 horsepower (HP) power pumps for irrigation during the current Irri-Boro season.

Usually, small farmers prefer 1 to 1.5 horsepower pumps for their small holdings. Such pumps consume less electricity and hence are less costly for them, some farmers told this correspondent.

Sources in the district Agriculture Extension Department (AED) said farmers, after the setback in Amon production due to flooding twice this year, now pin hopes on Irri-Boro to recover the losses. So the AED has targeted to bring 75,663 hectares under Irri-Boro in the current season, which is 3,000 hectares more than last year's area.

A major portion of lands are irrigated with small pumps using electricity from REB. A total of 5,016 power pumps and 82 deep tubewells are operated in the district during the dry season, AED sources said.

This year, farmers have applied for power connection to more 1,600 pumps, the sources said.

REB inspectors inspected most of the sights and recommended power connection. Farmers also deposited Tk 3000 as security many and Tk 2000 as wiring fee for each small irrigation pump.

But after visit by officials of the REB engineering department, farmers were told that power connection would not be given to pumps using motors less 3 HP. Pumps having 1 or 2 horsepower will not get power connection, they were told.

Ali Ahmed, a small farmer at Titpara village in Dinda upazila, said he uses a pump with 1.5 HP motor. "I do not need a bigger pump for my lands", he said.

Some farmers said they did not face such a situation in getting power for irrigation earlier.

The price of a 1-1.5 HP pump is Tk 6,500 to Tk 7,500 and that of 3 HP motor is Tk 13,000 to Tk 14,000, farmers said.

The farmer said the REB created the problem at a time when they were preparing to go for winter cropping.

When contacted, assistant general manage of the Polli Bidyut Samity Md. Moinuddin said it is mandatory to use at least 3 HP motors in power pumps as per REB irrigation policy.

"We are following REB instructions," he added.
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